Betrayal could be one of the harshest feelings we have to deal with. The mortal enemy of trust, it can cause the strong bonds between people to be broken. Even worse, it can replace the kindness in your heart with hatred. Betrayal comes in many forms: friendships, romantic relationships, or the result of any form of backstabbing. I was a victim of betrayal. The pain of it still lingers; looking back at all our good times, I still don’t understand how my place in her heart got lost; maybe it was never there in the first place? We shared many moments of happiness, sadness and laughter. I had never been afraid of opening up to others. I’ve always been the “open book” in the group, the one who is happy, with nothing to hide. But after these encounters with betrayal, my trust in others has taken a blow, along with my self-esteem and my mental state, which at times, has left me in a dark place.
Going to school every day has been a show at time, a show where I’ve had to keep acting like everything was fine, that my life was great, when it wasn’t. Pulling myself out of bed in the morning got harder and harder, as tears fell from my eyes every night, thinking of the good times that are now long gone. Seeing her in the long hallways brought me back to those moments when trust, connections, and happiness existed. Knowing that I trusted her and let myself believe that we were going to be together really shattered me. The feeling of betrayal has been truly indescribable, how I believed in her, confided in her, poured out all of my feelings only to see them discarded like an old wrapper.
Nothing Heals like the Past
Be Alright has always been one of my favorite songs. I chose it because I could relate to the lyrics and the deep, hidden meanings behind them. It has been one of the songs which pulled me out of that dark place, and given me the strength to believe that everything would be alright. The song has helped me cope with the pain, the sadness, and the feelings of betrayal.
I reach for your hand but it’s cold
when I touched your face,
I could tell you’re moving on
Listening to the song alone in my room allows me to reflect on my personal experiences. It allows me to relate to Dean Lewis and the shade impact betrayal has had on our lives. I hope you enjoy this cover as much as I did recording it. See you in my next post!