Clint Kessler – Never Trust Your Friends (Story Map)

NEVER TRUST YOUR FRIENDS

Panel 1

Opens up with Frank and Melvin standing next to a bus stop.

Panel 2

A medium shot of both bananas.
Frank: “Sigh…”

Panel 3

Melvin: “I told you we should’ve left earlier.”

Panel 4

Frank: “It’s not my fault the bus never fucking comes!”

Panel 5

Frank: “If it came on time, we would have been at the theatre an hour ago”

Panel 6

Melvin: “Why’d they even make a new Die Hard, it’s not like each one gets better…”

Panel 7

Frank: “That’s bullshit man, Die Hard 3 was way better than the first one.”

Panel 8

Melvin: “Whatever…”

Panel 9

Long panel that is completely black. These words are highlighted in white: “BANG! BANG! BANG!”

Panel 10

Panel laid out the same way: “NYPD! OPEN UP!”

Panel 11

Horizontal panel that takes up the bottom of the page.

“SLAM!”

(Canted angle) At the far left there is a door in the back being kicked open. Bruce Willis stands there with a gun in his hand, and his leg in the air. At the far right, there is a banana (the cousin) with a monocle, turtle neck, and Hitler-like mustache. He looks in shock and has sweat dripping down his face. The room is gritty.

Panel 12

Medium perspective shot of Bruce Willis with a gun in his hand. The gun is the closest to the front (perspective-wise) and is coming a little bit out of frame.

“Make like a banana…”

Panel 13

A closeup of his mouth: “…and split.”

Panel 14

“BANG!”

A side view of the behind the bullet.

Panel 15

A side view of the
“NOOOOOOOOOO…” (The word is breaking the frame, from one end to the other)

Panel 16

The same shot, but this time the banana’s head is split in half. Each peal is curving down the sides of his body. Brain is flying everywhere, and banana blood is sprinkled throughout the frame.

Bullet flying through the air.

Motion lines on the banana’s face (medium shot):

Panel 17

Melvin is looking at his watch:

Melvin: “There’s no way this bus is gonna come.”

Frank looks exactly the same.

Panel 18

The frame zooms out revealing a large oak tree to the right of Frank and Melvin.

Frank: “Fuck…”

Panel 19

Cut to Plantain Garden, a pizza parlor-type restaurant with a neon banana sign on the roof, and a line of customers is circled around the block.

Panel 20

Inside there are banana peels all over the checkerboarded kitchen floor (each peel is dead with X’s for eyes).

Voices from a T.V down the hall bleed into the room.

“Next in food news, local restaurant Plantain Garden is having their grand reopening tomorrow morning, and the line is already around the block!”

Panel 21

The T.V is on one of the backroom desks. You can see the back of a monkey’s head watching the screen. Two newscasters are speaking:

“I’m telling you, Sharon, this place has some of the tastiest banana-related dishes I’ve ever eaten. Every Friday I would stroll down there during my lunch break, and OH MY GOODNESS …some of the best banana pudding I’ve had”.

Panel 22

The monkey is staring into the television, dollar signs are in his eyes.

Carl: “Payday here I come.”

Panel 23

Carl lies back in his chair looking content.

Panel 24

His eyes close.

Panel 25

A loud scream comes from the room next door: “FUCK!!!”

Carl practically shits his pants.

Panel 26

Carl looks to the right as the voice projects a few hesitant words: Dude… can you come in here for a sec?

Panel 27

Shot of an empty doorway.

Panel 28

Carl is walking into the frame. Carl: “What’s the matte-” Panel 29:
His mouth drops to the floor. Panel 30:

His co-worker (in a full butcher uniform) is holding his hand out. His open palm reveals a single rotten banana.

“They’re all rotten…”
Flies are buzzing all over the room.

Panel 31

A larger pile of rotten bananas is revealed on the counter behind him. Panel 32:

A gasp escapes from Carl’s mouth (in each frame he looks paler and paler).

Panel 33

Carl: “But that was our last batch…”

Panel 34

Carl: “If we don’t have banana pudding by the morning we’re not gonna make it.”

Panel 35

The lack of response irritates carl.

Carl: “So what do we do?”

Panel 36

The butcher reaches into his pocket.

Panel 37

Car keys emerge in his right hand.

Panel 38

Close up of his mouth.

“Get in the car”

Panel 39

Cut to a car shooting down the road (side view).

Panel 40:

Carl’s determined face is behind the wheel (sweat droplets on his face).

Panel 41

Cut to the corner of a supermarket parking lot. The focus is on the front sign.

Panel 42

Focus on the top of the supermarket door opening. “Ding dong.”

Panel 43

Carl is behind his shopping cart looking around.

Panel 44

An annoyed employee is restocking items on a step ladder.

Panel 45

Carl: “Hey man, where’s the fruit aisle?”

Panel 46

The employee reluctantly directs Carl with his arm.

Panel 47

(Full page)

Perspective shot of the aisle. Carl and the employee are in the background, while a sign with “Fruit” written on it is in the foreground.

Carl: “I guess that’s a start”.

Panel 48

Medium side view or Carl walking down the aisle.

Panel 49

A large red sign has the words “Banna’s over here!” written on it (an arrow points around the corner).

Panel 35

Carl’s face lights up.

Panel 36

Carl looks up to the sky Carl: “Thank you, god”.

Panel 37

Corner of the shelf.

Panel 38

Carl’s fingers and face pop out from behind the corner.

Panel 39

His face immediately grows sour.

Panel 40

You see the back of Carl’s head. He is looking directly at the banana shelf, which is completely empty with cobwebs covering where the fruit once layed.

Carl: “…fuck”

Panel 41

(Full page) Outside of the supermarket.

Panel 42

Carl is sitting at the curb on the phone (talking to his butcher co-worker).

From the other line:
“What do you mean there’s none left?”

Panel 43

Carl: “I’m telling you, man, we’re fucked.

The dude at the checkout aisle said banana shipments were delayed for the whole county.

Panel 44

Butcher: “So you’re saying there’s no way to get bananas by the morning?”

Panel 45

Carl: “Yep…”

Panel 46

Butcher: “I guess we’ll figure out what to tell the crowd when you get back.”

Panel 47

The phone gets hung up.

Panel 48

Carl hunches over and plants his face in his palms.

Panel 49

“Pssst.”

A voice comes from outside the frame.

Panel 50

A homeless monkey is standing at the edge of the parking lot (flies are buzzing above his head).

Panel 51

HM: “I heard you’re looking for bananas…”

Panel 52

Side view of Carl’s face. He’s staring at the homeless monkey standing in front of him.

Carl: “Yeah.. hopefully.”

Panel 53

HM: “I know a place where you can get what you need…”

Panel 54

Carl: “Are fucking with me?” he says with a confused look on his face.

Panel 55

HM: “Nope… 20 bucks and I’ll lead you there…”

Panel 56:

Cut to Frank and Melvin still waiting by the bus stop.

Panel 57

Melvin: “Ok man, this is ridiculous. The movie ends in like 10 minutes.”

Panel 58

Frank: “Don’t worry, we’ll just catch the next screening. I’m gonna head to the next stop to see how much longer we have to wait.”

Panel 59

Frank walks out of frame.

Panel 60

Melvin is now standing alone.

Panel 70:

Top-down shot of Melvin by the bus stop.

Panel 71

Carl: “Dude you didn’t tell me these ones were alive! I’ve only gotten banana’s from the store before.”

Panel 72:

HM: “Don’t worry bro. Just get down there and knock him out, I’ve done it plenty of times.”

Panel 72

Carl: “No, Fuck you. I’m not doing this!”

Panel 73

HM: “Hey man, a deal’s a deal. Gimme my 20 bucks.”

Panel 74

Carl: “I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Pane 75

The homeless money tries to grab carl.

Panel 76

Carl: “Get off me man!”

Panel 77

Shot of Carl’s foot. *Slip*

Panel 78

Carl falls out of frame.

Carl: “Whoaa!”

Panel 79

Top-down shot of carl hanging from the tree.

Panel 80

Carl: “Oh shit!”

Panel 81:

Carl looks up at the homeless monkey.

Carl: “Help me, I’m slipping!”

Panel 82

Below shot of the homeless monkey looking at Carl. HM: “Screw you man, this was a waste of my time.”

Panel 83:

He walks off.

HM: “Hope you hit the ground hard asshole.”

Panel 84

Carl is hanging from the tree branch.

Carl: “shit…”

Panel 85:

His sweaty hand is wrapped around the tree branch.

Panel 86

His hand slips more.

Panel 87

Carl loses contact with the tree and is now falling.

Panel 88

His face stretches as he screams.

Carl: “Watch out!!!!”

Panel 89

Cut to melvin standing.

Panel 90

He looks up.

Panel 91

His mouth opens up with horror as you see Carl’s leg enter the top of the frame.

Panel 92

Splat!!!

Banana guts shoot out from the bottom of the frame.

Panel 93

The frame is blank.

Panel 94

Shot from below of Carl holding the banana guts (his face is horrified).

Carl: “what have I done…”

Panel 95

From out of the frame comes Frank’s voice.

Frank: “Hey man, the next bus comes in like 40 minutes. Let’s just head home…”

Carl’s face looks terrified.

Panel 96

Same shot.

Carl: “oh shit…” (in small letters)

Panel 97

The frame is blank.

Panel 98

Frank walks in and melvin is missing.

Panel 99

Frank looks down.

Panel 100

Carl pops up fully covered in the skin of Melvin (like a costume).

Panel 101

Frank: “You alright man, you look a little sick?”

Panel 102

Carl stutters:

Carl: “Ye-yeah man, I’m doing gr-great…”

Panel 103

Frank: “Ok dude whatever.”

Carl is sweating bullets.

Panel 104

Carl: “Uhhhh man… I gotta call someone. I’ll be right back.”

Panel 105

Carl zips out of frame.

Frank looks confused.

Panel 106

Cut to Carl on his phone with the butcher: Carl: “Dude I’m in serious trouble”

Panel 107

Butcher: “What happened?”

Panel 108

Carl: “No time to explain. Just keep the backdoor unlocked…”

Panel 109

Close up of Carl’s mouth

Carl: “I think I can solve our problem…”

Panel 110:

Carl hangs up the phone. He mumbles to himself:

Carl: “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Panel 111:

Frank is alone in the frame.

Panel 112:

Carl makes his way back into the frame.

Carl: “We could always get some dinner. I know a great place downtown…”

Panel 113:

rank: “Sure man. Sorry again about the movie, I should have planned better.”

Panel 114

“All good dude, you’re gonna love the food at this place!”

Panel 115

Close up of Carl’s face sweating.

Panel 116

A news reporter is standing in front of Plantain Garden (a microphone in his hand).

“I’m here hours before the grand reopening of Plantain Garden. The chef is preparing some of the final dishes, and soon we’ll all be able to get inside and
feast our eyes, and tastebuds on these gourmet banana dishes.”

Panel 117

“Well, Sal. Back to you.”

Panel 118

Cuts to another news anchor back in the studio.

Anchor: “Thanks Jerry, I can’t wait to get out of this shithole of a studio and eat some delicious bananas.”

Panel 119

(Full page) Carl and Frank are at the back door of the restaurant. (Dirty dumpsters and garbage are everywhere).

Panel 120

Frank: “Why’re we going through the back way?”

Panel 121

Carl: “Don’t worry man, I know the owners.”

Sweats dripping down his face.

Panel 122

Frank: “Why have you never told me about this?”

Panel 123

Carl: “Chill the fuck out man, your getting on my nerves!” Carl is fumbling with the key.

Panel 124

Carl opens the door

Panel 125

Carl: “After you.”

Carl holds the door open for Frank. Frank strolls in.

Panel 124

Carl squeezes in and the door slams behind him.

Panel 125

Frank gets startled.

Panel 126

Carl and Frank are now standing alone in the kitchen.

Frank: “Dude, what is this place?”

Panel 127

Banana peels are all over the floor.

Panel 128

Carl grabs the top of his banana costume.

Panel 129

He takes it off like a cloak.

Panel 130

Frank: “Wait! You’re not Melvin!”

Panel 131

Carl: “Relax man, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Panel 132

He thinks about it for a second.

Carl: “Actually that’s not true…”

Panel 133

Frank: “What?”

Panel 134

Frank starts to back up.

Panel 135

Carl: “Wait stay!”

Panel 136

Frank rushes to the door.

Panel 137

He grabs the door handle.

Panel 138:

Side view of frank holding the handle.

Panel 139

A meat cleaver enters the side of the frame.

Panel 140

Frank’s head gets sliced down the middle and explodes.

Panel 141

Carl’s mouth drops to the floor.

Panel 142

Carl looks up to the side.

Panel 143

The butcher is standing in the doorway all silhouetted (looking like a superhero).

Panel 144:

Carl becomes even more shocked.

Panel 145

The butcher and Carl are standing at either end of the frame looking down at Frank’s decapitated body.

Panel 146

Same shot.
The butcher: “I guess we better start cooking.”

Panel 147
Black panel.

Panel 148
NEVER TRUST YOUR FRIENDS.