After many ripped pages and invasive infiltrations, the Literacy Professors of Latin (or the Book Gods as I call them) decided that they would handle me their own way, especially after tarnishing one of their most elaborate pieces and disrespecting the security of The Jugular. You wouldn’t think a group of people called the Book Gods would actually be intimidating, but when they turn out the lights, make you bow in their presence, and talk to you with beautifully crafted sentences, its actually quite hard to not feel guilty about what I did. They had the tome in front of them, and right in front of me, as evidence of my transgressions. It was your average court case, despite, you know, being in a room engulfed by darkness with judges capable of ending my life by squashing me with AP books or by extreme third degree paper cuts.
They sentenced me to fourteen and a half golojigs of community service at an amusement park as un payaso (a clown). How lenient of them. I guess they wanted to punish me, while acknowledging my feats by making me work with the lowest form of comedy there is, clown college. Maybe I will acquire deep wisdom from people who wear big shoes and fit into small cars. Or maybe I won’t. Yeah, I probably won’t. Besides, it’s not like everyone has their own type of humor that can make everyone laugh, without the need to get an all- knowing book. Maybe I’m wrong. Nah, I’m probably not wrong, But why does it feel like I am?
Thank you all so much for following this column. I’m so grateful that readers exist and that they enjoy this adventure. This was a huge roller-coaster, get it? Roll-er coaster it because I ROLLED all over the place as a Thief. I can already tell, that you’re going to miss my cringey humor. Heck, if I was you, I would probably make bets with my friends to see who would cringe first! I really do appreciate the time you took to read my posts, and though goodbyes are sad, this isn’t exactly the end. Maybe I’ll get myself in more trouble and travel the ocean blue. But hey, that’s a story of another time. Thanks y’all!