A Sip in the Right Direction: Bust and Bind

Hey Addicts!

Nothing says “new semester” like a pop quiz! So to test your general knowledge, broaden your horizons, and debunk some casual stereotypes, today I will be busting some notorious coffee myths. Most online quizzes and websites are wrong, or only give part of the picture, in the end leading their readers to be misinformed. However, this post won’t, as I understand that an uninformed population is a weak population (or at least an under-caffeinated one).



1. Dark roast is more caffeinated than blonde.

Actually the more one roasts coffee beans, the more caffeine is lost in the process. It’s similar to a wine reduction sauce—the more you cook it, the more alcohol is burned off.

2. After Brazil, Colombia is the largest coffee producing country. 

Colombia is the second highest coffee producing country… of Arabica beans. However, many people fail to take into account the production of Robusta beans which are mainly produced in Vietnam and Indonesia.


3. Keeping coffee beans in the freezer preserves it’s taste.

The best place for coffee beans is in a grinder or a canister. Think of them as coffee decanters, letting the beans breathe and the elements mingle [insert pretensions French accent here]. Leaving coffee beans in the freezer, however, causes condensation, which can dilute flavor.

4. Coffee stunts one’s growth.

This is a widely known adage with no scientific support. If the fear of staying short has kept you from enjoying the bliss of a cup of coffee, DONT WORRY! I have living proof: one of my best friends and fellow coffee fanatic Elise Mills has been drinking coffee since elementary school and she is six feet tall! (See photographic evidence below.)

A very tall person who is well-caffeinated (left) and a short person who is not (right).
A very tall person who is well-caffeinated (left) and a short person who is not (right).

5. Coffee cures a hangover.

For readers who are twenty-one and over (or live in European countries where drinking isn’t criminalized), you know that coffee is not the be-all-end-all sobriety elixir. Coffee is a band-aid, masking but not fixing the problem. Unfortunately, the only thing that truly cures a hangover is time and the humiliation of friends recounting one’s drunken state.

So now that I’ve properly managed to impart some Adam Savage into your life (look up Mythbusters), you can now indulge in an afternoon cup of coffee with pride.