Satirical Society of Scintillating Sentences: Ready for Summer

Mina Choe

As a journalist, I’m very interested in the lives of typical teenagers so I went out into the streets and asked a random teenager about her plans for the summer. I picked out Veronica as she was walking down the street. Luckily, she was very eager to talk to me, unlike most of the teenagers, who completely ignored me.

“What are your plans for this summer?” I asked.

“I’m going to evenly space out all of my summer homework over the three-month-long break. I have approximately two books to read, and I’m going to summer school to prepare for the SATs, which will affect the rest of my life. I’ve sacrificed summer vacations for ten years to ensure that I’m ahead of my peers academically. There is nothing better than having the ability to teach the courses you’re going to be taking in the school year.”

“Are you going to have time to spend with your family while you’re meticulously studying?”

“My family tried to make plans for a trip this summer, but I said I wouldn’t go. Also, I cancelled most of the plans I made with my friends. I just like studying all year round.”

You said most of your plans are cancelled, but have you made any appointments you intend to honor?

“Yeah, besides my annual dentist appointment and monthly check-up, I’m going to go hang out with some of my friends.”

And what are you going to do?

“We have an annual meeting where I summarize all the books we were supposed read, and we go over them together. Most of them don’t read the books because they’re doing other things like visiting other countries.”

Sounds like you have great friends who don’t take advantage of you at all. What would your perfect summer day be?

“My perfect summer day… I would wake up at 6:30 in the morning. While I eat breakfast, I would go over my vocabulary flashcards, then I would do some advanced calculus until… three. I would go to my summer classes at four and come home at around six. And then I would finish all the homework from my summer classes until it’s time to sleep.”